here are a few choice spots if you're in san francisco, yokohama, or kyoto. you can find the ones in tokyo by yourself. be sure to yell about ninjas, samurais, and geishas when you're there, especially if, like me, you can't speak a lick of japanese.

argus
3187 mission
san francisco, ca
415.824.1447
5pm-2am
right down the street from me, this is one of the few really comfortable bars in san francisco. unfortunately, you can't smoke there. it's no norge, but the bartenders are nice and they pour thick drinks. no ninjas.

new norge
217 yamashita-cho
naka-ku, yokohama
045.662.2309
5pm-5am
i wish you could always find me here. this place is the business. roll in, yell WILEY BROTHERS!!!, and watch the mayhem. look out for attacks from ninja kengo, ninja tadashi, ninja makoto, ninja kenjiro, ninja a young guy, and the invincible ninjette oneesan. he doesn't work there, but you should also watch your back in case rocky is in the area. most of the indoors pics and movies from japan are from norge. the closing time is pretty flexible and shit gets crazy between 4am and 5am, when it gets flooded by bartenders from neighboring bars. if you go to yokohama, make it to norge BY ANY MEANS NECCESSARY.

bar motown
kaneko building 2f
2-60 ishikawa-cho
naka-ku, yokohama
045.662.9289
6pm-2am
motown is a small second-story bar. the only bartender i met was yasushi, who played soul records as well as making drinks. i met dj eugene here. i think that closing time is bullshit too. i seem to remember being there later than 2am. the owner, ashida, owns three other bars in yokohama and always rolls with ladies on each arm, like a powerful shogun.

bar great harry
214 yamashite-cho
naka-ku, yokohama
045.661.0243
great harry is right around the corner from norge. on my last night in yokohama i met the nice owner, who gave me his card and a souvenir shuriken. i got to hang out with the bartenders, all of whom are women as far as i can tell, late night at norge. i don't think they are ninjas, but they are not to be trifled with. they have powerful magic.

olaf's
naka-ku, yokohama
045.662.9281
we only went there on new year's eve, when rocky and makoto went crazy. makoto might look familiar because he works at norge. rocky works at olaf's, but he is always at norge anyway. it's right around the corner from norge,

restaurant athens
217-4 yamashita-cho
naka-ku, yokohama
045.641.6614
i only went to athens on my last night. i went to see their legendary alcohol selection. it was fucking enormous. most bars in japan have stocks that will embarrass american bars, but this was out of control. a real athenian owns this joint, but i didn't see him. i don't think he's a ninja, but his exoskelton is virtually impenetrable.

answer
yokohama
i really slept on this one. answer is a hip-hop club in yokohama, right by a really good ramen shop. we went there four times, but i didn't get a card and didn't take enough pictures. the guys who run this place are young as hell and supercool. on new year's eve there was a little kid skateboarding under tables on his belly. after that somebody set him on a pinball machine and he fell asleep. there was also a guy at the bar with a dog. he held the dog like a baby - in his arms. it was funny because the dog was probably 60 pounds dry. hard to tell, but everybody in there could be a ninja.

the dufftown
naka-ku, yokohama
dufftown is right down the street from motown. when we went it was empty and the bartender took his time to mix us a couple of perfect cocktails. every bartender i saw put a lot of effort into making drinks, but this was exceptional. they also serve yokohama beer. no ninjas.

yugafu
yokohama
045.663.2280
this is the classiest place went visited. it's all slick wood and black with plenty of empty space. they also project the big blue on an empty wall continuously. i think it was near kandai station. better to show up with a girl than roll in with your crew, as far as i could tell. impossible to detect the presence of ninjas, but i wouldn't waltz in too full of yourself.

fourth world
b1f sanpure kyoto building
670-10 higashishiokoji-cho
shimagyo-ku, kyoto
075.343.4000
if you're staying in kyoto, odds are that you're near the station. if you are., make sure you stop by fourth world. you can go at any time because they NEVER close. a fucking 24-hour bar. we were there from about 2-5am and nobody else came in. five people behind the bar and two americans at the bar. that's the price they pay. i really think one of the guys was a ninja. for real.

shot bar
kyoto
the name says it all. a tiny-ass bar with one woman behind the bar and a lot of tiny glasses. we went twice to kill time before going to some other place next door that i completely forget. ninja-free zone.

this is an ongoing project, so if you know of any bars in japan that are worthy of the ninjaweapon list feel free to submit them. i encourage it. i will consider san francisco bars, but beware that i know a lot of them and know if they're whack, even if you don't.